Thou shalt endeavour not to neglect thy prophetic duties, even when thou hast unfinished coursework to do... verily.
- She Who Shall Be Hereby Knwn As Stressed
23.
Thou shalt clean thy Iron Maiden regularly, or else the dried blood is likely to stain thy carpet. - a random prophet of random randomness
Edited by: ballet dancer of death at: 5/25/02 9:42:28 pm
25.
And yet thou shalt be bitterly disappointed the ones with the guys in spangly red air-hostess costumes didn't win. They were, verily, the best thing in the show (Latvia/the Greek borg-types come a close second).
- The Author Of All That Is Eurovision.
26.
Thou shalt try even harder not to sulk when thy prophetic colleagues tellest thou who did not win the Eurovision contest when thou hast taped it and not watched it yet. Hmph.
- She Who Shall Be Hereby Known As The Video-Master
28.
On a slightly related note, if thou wishest to win Young Musician Of The Year, then thou must be twelve years old and thus more cute than all thy oponents. - a random prophet of random randomness who randomly failed to watch eurovision on account of her dad was there, but randomly did watch most of YMOTY (random)
30.
Thus spake the Prophet:
30a thy sons that thy shall beget, they shall be taken away and be eunuchs (sp?) in the palace of the King of Babylon.
30b Thou shalt be impressed at the Prophet's recollection of random bits of Belshazzar's feast,
or
30c Thou shalt forgive the Prophet for quoting at random.
30d Verily I have losteth! We all loseth.
30e I didst not know the canteen had carpets.
30f There really was something else I was going to say.
30g Thou shalt lose a second time.
30h Oh yeah, thou shalt slash the King of Babylon and his eunuchs. As well as Peter the Great and his advisor blokey (which has been suggested by sensible historians) and Martin Luthor King and Malcolm X.
30i Last Truth, I promise: Luthor, King, Malcolm and sensible shall henceforth have spooned.
30j Thou shalt lose.
31.
31a And verily, thou shalt slash Carl and Jamie when thou hast nothing better to do at Carl's Dad's 50th Birthday Party. Thou shalt then spend the rest of the afternoon answering the question 'What the @#%$ are you sniggering at?' when they play-fight with noises on the bathroom floor.
31b Thou shalt also have to explain why thou art sniggering every time thou rememberest that last week, thou didst watcheth Carl's Dad presenting a channel 4 documentary on pornography.
31c And also when thou rememberest that Jamie hath not done his music homework.
31d And very muchly also when thou rememberest that he may or may not have seen the gay porn that thou didst draw that fellst out of thy bag in a music lesson last January.
31e Thou shalt note the C.
31f Thou shalt lose
31g Thou shalt write multible part prophesies, for it is muchly fun.
31h No, I didst not know that the canteen had carpets either. I wondereth where the @#%$ that came from...
31i Umm...
31j That's all.
- a random prophet of random randomness who randomly reads Private Eye but randomly doesn't remember the quote properly (random)
32a If thou ist going to write multiple-prophesy-verses then thou must not prophesy past j, as this has happened twice now and is therefore surely a syne.
32b Thou must definitely loose
32c Thou shoudlst talk to walls as often as possible
32d Giggling at inoppertune moments ist muchly fun
32e Umm ...
32f I've forgotten what I was prophesising ...
32g Damn, don't you just hate that?
32h It was really clever...
32i ... and funny too
32j No, I can't remember it. I'll have to get back to you.
32j(a) Don't forget what I said about talking to walls
softer silence Registered User
Posts: 73
(5/30/02 6:28 am)
33.
33a. Thus shalt lose.
33b. Thou shalt teach The Game to thy classmates, and verily they shalt lose whenever they see you, resulting in multiple losses every day. Verily.
33c. Thou shalt remember that thou canst talk about the game and randomly not lose whilst doing it.
33d. Thou shalt not wear hairbands round thy wrist for they cut off the circulation to thy hands.
33e. Thou shalt not wear hairbands round thy wrist when thou dost not have enough hair to use the hairband.
33f. Thou shalt crack thy knuckles! Huzzah!
33g. Thou shalt tell thy conductor teacher that thou be-est revolting, and then laugh maniacally when thou realisest what thou hast said.
33h. Thou shalt then re-phrase what thou has just said, and tell her that thou ist mutinying.
33i. Thou shalt then remember that thou canst only mutiny on a ship.
33j. Thou shalt therefore kindnap they conductor, find a ship, and THEN mutiny. Verily.
- She Who Shall Be Hereby Known As Bluebeard
34.
34a Oh, and by the way, what else dost thou think the eunochs were FOR, oh Author of All That Is Good? Alexander the Great had some too for just that purpose...
34b Thou shalt display thy random knowledge of eunochs through history...
34c And thus I say didst thou know that the last castrato only died within living memory? There are recordings of him. And verily, occasionaly doth David Joyner (whose name I have suddenly realised I cannot spell) rant about him.
34d Canst thou not see Dominic Kreamer as a Castrato?
34dd is my bra size. Unless it's 36dd.
34e And verily, the word eunoch shall spoon.
34f Canst thou not mutiny any where in the army? I thought soldiers as well as sailors could mutiny. Sailors tend to do it more often though...
34g In fact, didst not the crew of the Enterprise mutiny at least once?
34h I never have to remember that the German Navy mutinied in Kiel in 1919 thus causing the Weimar government to be politically weakened ever again!
24i Thou shalt fail to spell the word 'associated' correctly in thy history exam. Multiple times.
24j Because lo! it hath spooned. And thus I say unto you: I have lost.
37.
Thou shalt fail to remember the Ten Commandments and the Seven Cardinal Virtues. However thou shalt have absolutely no problem with remembering the Seven Deadly Sins. - a random prophet of random randomness
39.
Prophet Bob, hast thou noticed that the Internet Prophets are a much more peaceable bunch than the olde fashionede prophets of Seran's User Area. I suddnely noticedeth that it hath been a while since anything got blown up, and none of us have yet gone to war over the finer points of olde englishe gramma. Also, my minions seem to be entirely intact, which maketh a nice change, and futhermore we have not scismed once. I prophesy that the internet age will be a time of peace for all the prophets and we shall live together in harmony for ever more. Verily. Unless we piss each other off. - a randomly peacable prophet of random randomness
41.
Verily, all shalt blow up an object/person/abstract concept of their choice, merely for the very hell of it.
I bloweth up exams. Oh, verily and Morgan.
- The Author Of All That Is Good
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