You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
(Note: this is VERY likely to happen in a government office!)
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night...
and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
follow a group of Hell's Angels on the highway.
Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your hat.
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You walk to work, get there, and realize your dress is
stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.
Re: You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...
Your wife leaves you for another woman.
Your girlfriend forces you to leave at gun-point.
You wake up in a coffin.
You wake up in a coffin with an ungodly craving for brains.
You roll out of bed and have to swim to your bedroom door.
A five year old you've never seen before in your life walks up to you and says, "Hello, Daddy!"
Instead of waking up, you "come to..."
You look in the mirror and don't recognize your face.
You look in the mirror and you have a face that You DO recognize, but not yours.
You look in the mirror and have MY face.
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