Xellos , are you ok??
hey im just wondering where xellos is and hoping he's ok. he hsnt been around for a while, which could be a good thing but i just want to see if hes out there and doing ok........
yes hushed, Im ok, at least for now. Eevn thought I didnt post here for quite a while, you can be certain that Im reading every new post on this forum. Anyway, long story short, just after it fails with the girl I was supposed to go out with (really long and pathetic story that I may explain one day...in fact, I already did, but it was one a French forum, so I have to write everything again in english), anyway just after that, I met anothyer girl on the dating site...uh and everything just went a little too fast, anyway Im going ot with her right now (even though we cant meet a lot because of our respective life)...so for now yes, Im the happiest guy on Earth, like I told many many times before, love was the only part of me who was making me feel lonely, and with everything that is happening in my life right now, Im even more certain that I was 100% right. All those dialogue about how you can live without it and all, well its fun to believe when you try to find a motivation in your endless single life...but in the end, this was just fake to my eyes. But one thing for sure, now im 100% sure also about what I want in life...Im really tired of always going unilateral in every relationship I try to have. Im the kind of guy who will give everything he has to the person he love... But in today society, no one care about that. Nice, shy and intraverted people always end up hurted because others will atke advantage of it...No one want to beleive in strong value, and in eternity. Everyone want to build their relation on some words like "Perharps", "We will see" or "We never know what may happen in the future" and no one want to do any kind of effort for the others, no one want to believe that love can overcome everything, In my head, a perfect relationship should make the loved-one the first priority in both side, so that way the two person are taken care of...BUT today, everyone put always themselves first, so of course if theres just one small problem in the relation, it broke...really Im SOOOO tired of it all, of all those relation who are based on superficiality, it makes me sick, SOOO sick....SO if it has to fail with this girl, who was able to make me see the dream I always had about a perfect love relationship, then I'll say, screw all that, I'll never make the effort again to give myself to someone who doesnt appreciate what we give to him/her...well sorry if it was dark, but I just had too much desillusion in my life...I guess for me, this relation is the last ride...
Re: Xellos , are you ok??
I just need to talk about it a little and its sure to fails just after that... like it was possible anyway for me to be with someone...she just broke up wth me yesterday...SO now, all I want is to isolate myself from this @#%$ world...this went way too far this time...everything and everyone can just go die for all that it matters to me...People just like to throw words like that, without believing any of it...Im not sure if I'll be able to trust in the "so-called" sincerity of people...
Re: Xellos , are you ok??
I'm sorry things didnt work out. i really am and im more sorry that you seem to have been demoralised by it all. it dont mean to trivialise our situation but i didnt get the impression that you particularly liked the relationship you had with this person anyway. i very well may be wrong though. I cant really offer any advice to you becasue ive never been in the situaion you are in now and i dont know you well enough to judge what is best for you. I try not to give too optimistic and ideallistic advice becasue it seems pointless and too much like something out of a film or book. All i can say is that you're young and still in the process of creating your view of the world. It is likely that you're going to find dissappointment sand come into situations which make you question how you previously saw the world. You've come up against alot of bad experiences lately and i undersatnd that you're feeling pissed off and hopeless. I believe you when you say:
like it was possible anyway for me to be with someone
it is very likely that it isnt possible for you to be with lots of people including the last girls you have seen, but there are also an insane amount of poeople in th world that you could be with. You just havent come acros them yet. You are only 20something, no offense but its unrealistic to think that you are going to perfect your life at this stage. You'll need alot more experience before you can even consider that. As for the whole sincerity thing, yeah it sucks but thats a western thing, but luckily for you it doesnt effect everybody.
Re: Xellos , are you ok??
Hi Xellos. Remember me? You were one of the people who read my post when I needed. I am greatful for that.
I said i wont post here again, but sometimes i lie
I have learned much since my last post. You my friend, apparently, dont learn anything.
I have read a lot of your posts. I like some things you say. For example, you say that people like us, intreverts, poeple with feelings, we always get hurt by others. We are the ones that believe in true love, happiness, etc etc etc.
Now you said it for yourself "But in today society, no one cares about that". "that: being anything that a person like us would value.
So the question arrises, what should we do then? Well i think there are 2 choices. THe good one and the evil one. I chose the evil one because it is easer and it suits me better. By choosing that path i become evil outside by stayed kind inside, that way i hurt others and nobody hurts me. In spite of that i still hope that i will find the "true love" one day. Its just gonna be less paintfull till that day.
But I dont encourage you to take that path. I think it is much harder and much more noble to always stay kind and nice even when you are surrounded by ugliness. It makes me sad when you say that you dont care if everyone died, because from what i read you are a kind person, at least i hope.
Basically this is what i am saying: I was unhappy, i was being hurt- so i changed, now i am the one that is using poeple. It doesnt really make me happy, but i dont suffer. Now you - if you say that you hate everything whenever you get dumped, you might turn into me. Now would you want that? So, try not to let the society change you into a cruel person. I dont really know, but maybe if you stay possitve and relaxed al the ime, life would be much better.
One more thing. About women. Dont thing about finding the right one all the time. Tell me how many people do you know that are really old and never found anyone they loved. Sooner or later people always find their loved one's. There is just way too many of us so do the math... (being sarcastic) Try to live you life easely, dont worry too much, be cool, be hip. The ladies will come and love will come afterwards.
Now i might be werong, so feel free to prove me wrong. I just thought i ll say what i think. And even if you dont like what i said xellos, remember that i meant well.
Re: Xellos , are you ok??
Hey Xellos i'm back once again! Just decided to pop by after these months. Well, i'm sad to hear that she broke up with you. Is that the online girl you told me about and that you tried to avoid her? I identify with some of what you said, that girls really want exciting guys to be with and not just plain ol nice guys. To me that's sad because if that's what they think, then they have short foresight coz when they grow old they wouldn't want that kind of excitement. It's true sustaining love that counts and i'm a believer of that too. As for me, i'm still single and i met a wonderful girl through a christian dating site but i'm taking it slow. I'm trying to not let my heart take over my brain coz i'll start fantasizing and that's where the suffering comes..lol.
And what joeblack said is true. There are 2 choices. For me, i choose the good path and i treat people nice and well even though i know girls may not find me exciting but i'm looking for a long term relationship where when we're in our 80s, we still love each other more than before. Think about it, how many adult/elderly couples these days do you see that are proud of having their spouses? Alot become cold and it seems like the love is lost between them. There's much cultural pressure to be a wild and exciting person but i'll say SCREW that because i want to be different and go the right path. PEACE!
Re: Xellos , are you ok??
Just to let people know that no, Im not dead (after all, this was my home for a long time)...still feel a little down, but its ok, the main reason why I stopped posting here was because I found a new way to express myself totally...well like many people, I started writing my blog on my MSN space (you know how much I like to write big emotional text). And I really like it, writing one bing chunk of text every day, it helps me letting my feeling out. And I was able to talk to some sweet peoples there too, and start new converstaion via e-mail and MSN because of that...the only thing his that this its taking me a lot of my free times on the virtual...Anyway, I would be glad to show the result, problem is, Im writing it all in french, so it might not be really pratical to read for most people here...anyway except for that, still single, still feel like I'll be for my entire life...but Im in an ok mood, at least for now (and yes Im still reading new post here). Thanks for people who tried to support me, it really touched me....
but i just want to see if hes out there and doing ok........
like it was possible anyway for me to be with someone...she just broke up wth me yesterday...SO now, all I want is to isolate myself from this @#%$ world...this went way too far this time...everything and everyone can just go die for all that it matters to me...People just like to throw words like that, without believing any of it...Im not sure if I'll be able to trust in the "so-called" sincerity of people...
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