Your Friendly Neighbourhood WebMistress
Posts: 531
(7/18/03 6:08 pm)
The Ninth Book Of Internet Truth - 1.
Thusly shallt work have the internet. Bob cowers in submission under his wracking guilt from not being able to access the board. - Bob.
Quantity of beauty required to launch a single ship - 1 Millihelen
Vitriolic Butterfly Reporter for 'The Condenser's Guide To America'
Posts: 355
(7/20/03 12:07 pm)
2.
All in favour of stoning Bob into submission prior to digging him out and apologising and feeding him tea and crumpets say 'You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...'
- The Author Of All That Is Really Understanding Really And Hast Not In Fact Seen The Hulk Yet. But Hast Seen Daddy Day Care Which Ist Verily Not Half As Bad As Anger Management.
Edited by: Vitriolic Butterfly at: 7/23/03 11:17 am
ballet dancer of death Reporter for 'The Condenser's Guide To America'
Posts: 440
(7/20/03 9:58 pm)
3....canst the crumpets have honey on?
~ She Who Shall Be Hereby known As Actually Not Jessie, But In Fact Miranda Who Is Signed In As Jessie Despite The Fact That She's At Rosie's House... For Verily There Is Logic.
Vitriolic Butterfly Reporter for 'The Condenser's Guide To America'
Posts: 358
(7/23/03 10:19 am)
4.
Yea, and/or jam.
- The Author Of All That Is Steadfastly Refusing To Have The Damn Conversation So I Can Get On With The Plot
9.
The Vampire hast returneth! But only briefly, mind. I have officially moved out of home and am living with Dave! How grown up am I?
Last Thursday I was in Milan (With Dave) and next Tuesday I'm off on an all expenses paid trip to Finland/Estonia for a week! Dave's paying fot the lot! So yea, me is a very happy bunny! - The Jacket Potato of Happy-Bunniness.
National Poohsticks Champion
Posts: 429
(8/14/03 3:26 pm)
10.
Duck? What duck? I though we were throwing stones. Though I do have this rather attractive mallard....
~ She Who Shall Be Hereby Known As Donald
Edited by: softer silence at: 8/14/03 3:28 pm
11.
Thusly shalt the prophets ban all maligning of the sexuality and/or gender of Donald Drake. Any further mention of him as Donald Duck shall be considered a malicious slur and the perpetrator shalt be sued for libel.
- a random prophet of random randomness.
Do you like my post? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead. AMERICA
Verily dost everything take longer in the Albert Hall in the boiling hot than in Jessie's living room with ice cream.
- The Author Of All That Is Repeated
14.
*blush*
- The Author Of All That Has Had The Conversation And Realised There Isn't Any Plot To Be Getting On With
Edited by: Vitriolic Butterfly at: 8/17/03 10:48 am
15.
Methinks the interest in the Internet Books of Truth is flailing! The last entry for weeks has been *blush* - can one blush for that long?!! Well I shall put ye out of your misery - blush ne mere! I be-eth very poor at the moment and am trying to scrape together the money for the trip to Alton Towers that Ballet Dancer is organising - my wicked mother has stolen my final pay-cheque and refuses to give it to me until just before I starteth uni!!! Which is only 2 weeks away! Argh! Im gonna miss you guys sooooo much-eth! - The Jacket Potato Of Excited-ness that he's going to uni but also of Terrified-ness that he's going to be in a far away country all on his own without any of his friends or family around!
16.
By the power invested in me by the Great God Odie-Enn, I hereby pronounce the following to be irrevocable truths:
Jonny Depp is henceforth declared a Dude, with all the rights and responsibilities pertaining thereto.
Camilla Sandman shalt be granted the title of Most Incredibly Wonderful Fanfiction Writer Ever At Present until such time as Jessie produces her Lord of the Rings fic-in-progress.
And the total bastard that didst walk off with my bracelet, verily the one I made myself out of ribbon and safety pins and beads picked up all over America and loved dearly, shalt be swallowed up by a firey crack in the earth and rot in hell for all eternity. They shalt ensure the bracelet ist returned to me or at least given a good home where it shall be loved and cherished by some deserving goth, or verily shalt they suffer my wrath! They shalt be drained dry by the nastier of my vampires, run over, stomped upon, dunked head first into a vat of boiling nacho sauce, imprisoned in Screen Three until the end of time, clearing up after popcorn munching ten year olds without EVEN a dustpan and brush, and then chopped up into tiny pieces and presented to Sauron and Morgoth as a wedding present.
Thus speaketh the High Priestess of Odie-Enn, summoner of managers, wielder of the sacred torch and Author of all that is Piratical.
National Poohsticks Champion
Posts: 439
(9/2/03 8:46 pm)
17.
This prophet is.... slightly intimidated by the long posts that hath been posted before her. Eeep. All shalt lose. Oh, and hurl Donald at The Cotton Wool Fairy. Hehe.
~ She Who Shall Be Hereby Known As Wanted by the RSPCA
19.
Thou shalt get of thine lazy arse and decorateth the t-shirts thou hast been using as a rug for the past 11 months.
- The Author Of All That Is Shameful
Your Friendly Neighbourhood WebMistress
Posts: 554
(9/12/03 9:14 am)
21.
All T-Shirt artists shallt be elevated to the status of really cool people. No birds of any gender shall be thrownst at them. Ever. This does not exclude fish - due to CETR (Cod Equal Throwing Rights)
(It's a whole new CETR of fish) - Shameful for that last joke Bob.
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