The Fourth Book Of Internet Truth - 1.
Thou shallt all send 12 passport photographs to Aberystwyth or thou willt get no food and no library access. - Unphotogenic Bob.
Re: 2.
And verily shalt thou send thy UCAS replies to UCAS and thy passport photos to the DVLA or else thou wilt get neither a place at university nor a driving licence... And how the @#%$ dost thou spell liscence, anyway? - a randomly very confused over the randomly huge numbers of randomly confusing forms random prophet of random randomness.
4.
Thou shalt refrain from using thy disintegrating device on the stupidly long bank queue, for verily is it not their fault that there is only one cashier. However, thou shalt be at thine liberty to evaporate the HSBC manager who scheduled only one cashier, for thy hour long wait rests upon his head.
The sore footed Charmed Quirk
7.
Thou shalt draw things of a squidgy photographic nature and make people fall over very hard. Verily didst I not mean to do that...
- The Author Of All That Is Squidgy
8.
Verily shalt thou apologise profusely to all those prophets who find thy truths cryptic, and endeavor to be neither cryptic nor spoilery in any way in the future.
- The Author Of All That Is Sorry
10.
Thou shalt honour the Last Minute and keep it holy, for verily is it the best time for thou to get things done. Like applying for thy choral scholarship, sending off thy ucas replies, sorting out thy finances and writing thy music essays. - a random prophet of random randomness who randomly although actually its not that random never has to write another music essay ever again.
11.
Thou shalt be hugely suprised when the signature thou gave up for dead several days ago suddenly and randomly decides to start working of its own accord. Computers are so random. - a random prophet of random randomness.
All shalt be utterly amazed at just how damned heavy thy Fresher's Pack is. Thou shalt also be astonished at the fact that you even need an academic gown, and that it costs £40. Verily art all students cash impaired, are they not? And wilt thou ever really need a bat cape?
The doubting-wisdom-of-attending-uni Charmed Quirk
13.
Thou shallt doubt the wisdom of going to uni even without the £40 bat cape and arm wrenching freshers pack. - Frankly-sceptical-of-wisdom-of-attending-uni Bob.
14.
Thou shalt not be surprised when thy totally random Michael and Rhys story which thou posted on Fanfic.net has no reviews, for verily wast it random and featuring members of the BNP (appearing in their capacity as vampire food).
- The Author of All That Is Not Reviewed Except By Imogen.
15.
Thou shalt accept that thy hair is meant to be straight, and that attempts to use curling tongs on it are doomed to end in failure, scorched hair and funny looks.
The burnt-fingered Charmed Quirk
16.
Or else conversly, thou shalt accept that thy hair is never going to be straight no matter what thou dost to it, and thou shalt give up and let it have its wicked way. And yea verily, the result shalt not be too displeasing, for lo! the best things in life are not straight... - a random prophet of random randomness.
17.
Thou shalt have long, raging battles with thy hair, and eventually resign thyself to the fact that whether thou agreest with it or not, thy hair will be wavy, and there is noting thou canst do about it. Bugger.
- She Who Shall Be Hereby Known As Disgruntled
P.S. Random prophet of random randomness, that is so true.
20.
FF.net shalt go down AGAIN straight after thou hast posted the concluding chapter of thy fic, stopping thee from picking up all thy lovely reviews. Bastards. - a random prophet of random randomness
21.
On an almost completely unconnected note, shalt the phrase 'go down' make everyone in thy head shag, even if thou hast used it in complete innocence. - a random prophet of random randomness
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