Is Cybering Sex?Hope you guys answer this one--Im really curious about your opinions on it.
"Cyber-Sex, aka "Hot-Chat", is the act of describing various
sex acts with the person youre chatting with.
But is it REALLY having sex, or "just typing"?
If it is, then is it cheating on one's bf/gf, fiance', spouse,
co-habiteur?
What "words" qualify as sex, which dont-where's the line drawn?
When DOES it become sex?
Do one or both of you have to "get" off for it to be be sex,
or are "feelings" enuf?
If you find out later you were cybering with the same gender,
did you actually have a gay sexual encounter, unknowlingy?
Re: Is Cybering Sex?
Oh that was enlightening.
Like it "wouldnt be right" to elaborate.
Its an adult board you twit.
Just smells like more horseshit to me.
Heart Of The
Dark Tabu Registered User
Posts: 3
(2/16/03 4:36 pm) Reply
Can be
There wasn't an answer above that I could use...so I'll answer here instead.
If either party involved is having feelings &/or images while they are cybering, OR if either party is "doing themselves"...then I would say "yes, it is sex". IMO, it isn't sex if neither party looks at it as such.
Bleeding Admiral L
Posts: 589
(2/16/03 4:48 pm) Reply
Re: Can be
I said: It depends what, and "how", its said.
First, I think if there is an emotional bonding, then it would be cheating. Otherwise, it would just be like looking at a picture and masturbating.
Second, it depends on the person. It doesn't matter if I think it is right or wrong. It maters what my spouse/wife/girlfriend thinks is right or wrong.
Hmmm
So, Lewisja, are you saying it isn't sex, but it is cheating, when there are emotions involved? (While I was trying to say it is in those circumstances)
And are you looking at masturbating as sex? (Really want to know here )
I agree that it depends on the person/people involved & what boundaries they have set for each other.
I have tried cyber, but didn't find it to my liking, as the other person was only interested in me for my "sex-talk" & nothing more...& I have a LOT more to offer than that!
Bleeding Admiral L
Posts: 591
(2/16/03 10:39 pm) Reply
Re: Hmmm
Forgive me, as I sometimes don't explain myself well on the net. This is sort of what I was getting at.
If you have an orgasm it is sex, even if you are by yourself. Masturbating is sex, it's just with yourself. If you give me a hand-job, then it was sex. If we dry hup, and there are orgasms, then it's sex. Oral sex, is sex.
Phone and Cyber are just like masturbating, and are sex. The key, is I am plesuring myself. It's not cheating unless it was emotional (imo), but it's still sex. However, some people will say that masturbating, phone, or cyber are cheating.
Now, on the other hand, if you are bumping uglies with someone, then of course that is cheating. I'm not the tpye to say that "It wasn't cheating, because I don't love them, it was just sex". I think oral and manual assistance are cheating, as it is with someone else.
It's sort of wierd, cause it is almost like double standards.
Trying to establish clear cut lines on this can give you a
headache. Cuz there are paradoxes.
For instance, lets say its not sex if neither party is physically
doing themselves. But how is one to know?
Lets say you ask the other one... they say "no Im just
typing". Are you having sex, if they really ARE, but you dont
know it? Thats like one sided sex. Confusing.
Or are you NOT having sex, cuz they said they arent and you
have no way of really telling?
Then again, I think many will SAY theyre doing themselves
when theyre really NOT, cuz they figger that's what you
wanna hear.
So if theyre NOT, when they say they ARE, then are you
NOT having sex, when you THINK you are, or are you
HAVING sex, cuz you think THEY are?
But, if you let them know you dont want to "know" theyre
really doing themselves, so they tell you theyre not,
just to get you to do it, then are you sort of guilty of
"having-sex-while-blind-folded"?
Arrgh!! See!!? *rubs temples*
I actually met someone online who was into this, and she
TOLD me she did herself with toys while cybering. When I told
her I considered that actual sex, she backpedaled and said, "I
meant, its all just typing to me. Im just pretending to use the
toy." She was history after that one.
Ive never had phone sex, never had the desire to, that is
NOT just typing, voice is very personal, and that would def be
cheating in my book. I would say a mic with voice chat would
quailfy too.
Thats enuf diluted thoughts for now...
*pops a few more Tylenols....*
Re: Hmmm
Thanks for clarifying, Lewisja. I mostly agree with you, too. I also think it is difficult to have a clearcut line, as far as cheating, because the definition can change when a person becomes emotional. I guess, for me, it comes down to the emotional involvement of the 2 (or more) people involved. If you are taking something away from one relationship & giving it to another, then you are cheating. If one of the involved parties doesn't know about it, it doesn't make it okay.
Demon...so many points you raised! It really can give one a migraine! I think you just have to decide if the "cyber thing" is for you or not. It is a personal decision, based on personal experiences. For me...no thanks!
Steel...you are just now discovering you can have sex with yourself?? J/k
Bleeding Admiral L
Posts: 593
(2/17/03 1:11 am) Reply
Re: Hmmm
Yeah Demonhart, it can definatly cause headaches. There are just to many possible scenario's to set down one set of laws or standards.
You know Dark Tabu, I actually had a guy tell me that he didn't think it was cheating if he had sex with other woman, as long as he never turned down his wife when she wanted to have sex. It was o.k. for him to have sex with other women if it didn't "Cheat" his wife out of her sex with him.
You sort of have to wonder where swingers and swapers fit into it also.
Dark Tabu Registered User
Posts: 11
(2/17/03 1:23 am) Reply
Re: Hmmm
If the guy's wife was unaware of what he was doing, then it was cheating, even if she was not missing any sex! What a one-sided point of view he had!
Since swingers & swappers are having sex with others by "mutual consent" & common knowledge, I don't think that would qualify as "cheating". I guess those are "open relationships"...not my cup of tea.
I tend to give a relationship my "all"...I expect that in return as well. I have never asked more of my partner (or less) than what I have been willing to give myself. I am the same way in my friendships, too...which has caused me to "get burned" quite a few times, sad to say.
Re: Hmmm
that guy who thought as long as he did his wife whenever that it wasn't cheating is truely misguided.
Yeah I never considered masturbation having sex with myself I always looked at it like I'm pleasuring myself not necessarilly sex but I suppose it is. hehehe!
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies 
