Broken
I think I am all done here in MI what I came for has changed and now my hopes again have been shot down the toilet. I dont know where I will go next...... I am still looking, moving this much cant be good for the kids so I will try to stick it out as long as possible here.
I dont know anyone here, and the people I do know have found something better to do I guess. I am broken! This @#%$ life wins.... I loose.... I am accepting it now.
If would like like to knowexactly why I feel this way.
1. no job...STILL
2. no one to talk to. all of my friends from FL either wont talk to me, or are to busy too. I had a friend when I moved here but she has found something better to do.
3. amtgard seems my only out and that is everywhere.
4. I normally dont need anyone, until I dont have anyone. My children are away from ther father, there families, everyone they have ever known. Though they adjusted very well.
I was talking online last night to a supposed friend that I have bent over backwards for and she was not there to even listen she dismissed it as bitching and abandoned me. Like everyone else. Whatever shroud of dignity or pride this supposed beautiful creature had is now gone, to leave just a shell of nothingness.
It makes me regress to all the dark parts of my life. I think it is time for the medication again.